How I Pick Myself Up When I am Feeling Down
I like to think of myself as a happy person, always putting my best foot forward, carrying a “you gotta be super-positive gurl” attitude. Underneath it all, I am struggling to keep wearing my smile. Isn’t it funny? The majority of us all walk around, painting a perfect picture of our lives, and are scared to show the cracks. Life is not an Instagram theme. It doesn’t always have to be a fairytale, it’s okay to show the bumps in the road too.
I have this belief system; that whatever I think of, whatever I see in my mind, I create for my future. I have so many thoughts inside my head, some amazing and exciting, but others are dark and terrifying – it can all get a bit too much. I put an unbelieveable amount of pressure on myself, in my personal life, and even more so when it comes to my career. I am always on the go, and always tired. Battling on. I’ve had my dealings with mental health, I’ve been through therapy, so I know what I gotta do to get myself back on track. It is very important to me to have little rituals which help me to calm my mind, and to ensure I have a positive out look, rather than one that just wants to stay in bed all day long and never face the world…
The first thing I do, is empty my head. I have lots of little notebooks and a few times a month, I get this urge to just write down everything that is piling up inside of me, and spill it out onto paper. Whether it is in the form of a to do list, or a short ramble, it makes me feel so much better. I like to curl up in my favourite set of pyjamas or Jack Wills joggers, the key is comfort, and I will scribble away until I feel better again. My hand writing is absolutely shocking by the way, I used to have beautiful hand writing, and now, my god, I am lucky if I can ever read half of what I write back again.
Other times, when I don’t feel like writing, I just sit and read. Currently I am reading Mad Girl by Bryony Goodwin. I am only a third of the way in, and it is like reading about myself. If you struggle with mental health, then this book is so relatable. Putting on a face mask helps, or buying myself a fresh bunch of flowers. Eating a tub of icecream without stopping to breathe is a great one. Lighting candles and lying in a bath tub until my toes look like raisins is always satisfying, and I feel detoxed afterwards.
Spending time with my sisters has been one thing that has helped my mind feel healthier again. I hadn’t been able to see much of them since Christmas, but the last couple of weeks it has been really nice to be back in Manchester with them. They drive me crazy but I wouldn’t change them for the world.
Friends are my rocks. I have a small handful of really good friends who know I have a lot going on right now, and they have been a life line to me. Surround yourself with people that love you, and you will slowly learn to love yourself again.
I made a mistake of pushing people away that love me, as I am always so determined to work things out by myself, and get to where I want to be without any help. Trust me, being alone is not always the answer.
I am a bit like an ocean. Calm and steady, but then when a storm of bad thoughts whirl up, things get a little rough and I need to take a step back. This week I have been up and down, in tears for hours, and then all of a sudden I feel really happy. Right now, I am feeling steady again and it is why I feel like I can finally write a blog post. Tomorrow, I am off to see La La land with the lovely Lauren (who also took these blog photos for me, isn’t she a gem?) and then we are going to get lots of blog planning done and eat ice cream.
Take each day as it comes, appreciate the little moments of happiness, and don’t be scared to talk to someone when you are feeling a bit plop.
Okay? Big hugs.